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Learning to Love Again: How to Reconnect With a Partner Following Infidelity

Trusting someone you love after an affair can evoke a mix of emotions. In an intimate relationship, there can be hidden reasons why a significant other finds themselves straying. Though there isn’t a good reason or excuse to cheat on your partner, there are ways to understand why. 


Substance abuse can be a reason for your spouse’s affair. Getting both of you help for your relationship and their health are both equally important. However, no matter what the cause, learning to love and trust again can be a long, hard road for both of you. Here are some tips to try to reconnect with your loved one after infidelity.


Tracking Your Spouse


In the US, almost half the married population head towards divorce. The reasons for a spouse’s infidelity may include the feeling of growing apart, one or both parties are abusive in some form, or perhaps your partner is dealing with substance abuse. Affairs aren’t always physical in nature but can be emotional or online. You may find yourself searching through text messages, social media pages, or go as far as following them when they go out. Online companies have developed ways to sms track conversations and location apps. You can also search phone numbers to search arrest records, mugshots, and background checks.




Once you find out there has been an affair and your partner has eventually come clean, your emotions could be reeling from the information. The stress can affect you at home, work, and other facets of your life such as the impact on your kids. If you both decide to work through this part of your lives, you may wish to seek out a marriage counselor. A therapist can help open up lines of communication. The right therapist will help you both express your feelings in different ways. It will be difficult to push your anger aside, however, listening to the reasons your spouse did it is important for growth. Talk to each other in a calm, respective manner. Allow your spouse to feel able to be open about the reason they strayed. Hearing it may be one of the hardest things for you. It’s all part of understanding each other on a deeper level.


Trust and Forgive


Trust is crucial in functional relationships. Attraction in some form may have brought you together. However, getting married or staying together for years was most likely based on mutual trust and devotion. Getting that back may seem impossible especially when you resent your partner. Holding on to the past can weaken your relationship. Even with hours of therapy, it could be unimaginable to fathom healing from such a betrayal. If you’re both on board with repairing your marriage, you both will have to agree one being open and honest. In order for you both to move forward, you’re going to have to eventually forgive them. 


Getting Help for Substance Abuse


One reason people begin affairs may involve drugs or alcohol. Substance abuse affects millions of people. It changes a person’s personality and behavior. Finding out your partner relapsed or has been involved in drugs can be just as painful as learning about a physical affair. Some may have an affair with a dealer in exchange for drugs or receiving money may be a part of the problem. People abuse drugs for many reasons. Your spouse may be having a difficult time at work or you have been fighting recently and they’re looking for a quick feel-good release. Drugs and alcohol may become an escape for them. Depression and anxiety can trigger a recovering addict to soothe themselves with drugs or alcohol. They may not have come to you out of fear or embarrassment. Getting your loved in into some form of substance abuse rehabs is vital for their survival and your relationship. 

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